Lost in space - Frankfurt 1998

When the traveller arrives from sunny Birmingham to arrive at its twin town, Frankfurt after flying through the turbulence, the Boeing 737 descends into Germany on a decidedly grey day to arrive at the even greyer airport. I think we really touched down in Dusseldorf and drove to Frankfurt, the runway was so long! The German organisation takes the traveller from the plane, straight onto a walkway towards Baggage Retrieval.Walking between a forest of grey steel columns, on a shiny grey tiled floor, past grey metal panelling, beneath grey steel roof beams and cladding, and past grey glazing. Following grey signs, efficiently written in German and English, the unsuspecting traveller arrives onto the main concourse at Frankfurt Airport, the grey signs inform them that there are two Baggage Retrieval areas to choose from. Unfortunately the grey signs do not tell travellers which gate they arrive at or that there are indeed two terminals or which one they are in. So choosing Baggage retrieval areas becomes a bit of a challenge. On asking a security guard, who was not dressed in grey! And looked like Thor, the Norse Thunder God, as depicted in Douglas Adams’ Long Dark Teatime of the Soul. Thor says that he speaks very little English then proceeds in in perfect English to give directions involving going upstairs to 'Baggage Retrieval E'. Already being on the top floor, and reading Thor's directions as meaning downstairs and descending some stairs, well it was actually a stationary escalator, into a totally deserted passport control area, except for Thor's mate. Thor's mate who also looks like Thor was standing outside some kind of grey sentry box, and speaking even better English than Thor and being most helpful. The German Security Guard is decidedly military in appearance, dressed in dark green flat cap with red band, khaki shirt, dark green trousers with red belt, and black boots. It is the automatic rifle that gives it away. The sentry box has a khaki coloured telephone that Thor II was using at the time to speak in German to his comrade to find out how it is possible to not benefit from Germany's fabled hyper efficient organisation. An inspection of the tickets confirms that this is indeed the wrong place, actually the wrong terminal, and should go to 'Baggage Retrieval D.' So it's back up or is it down? the stationary escalator. Past tonnes of grey steel, this Fosteresque approach is all very well but could do with a bit of colour here and there. Through passport control, more sentry boxes and a very stringent, efficient look at my passport, and through to a dormant conveyor belt. Where there was an architectural model. This model at Birmingham's Eurohub, airport, was the right way up when the passport-control-baggage-checking-in-type-of-female-person placed 'FRAGILE' stickers on the top. But was sitting on the conveyor in a definitely inverted position which after following Thor's directions this was not exactly a surprise. On passing countless dormant baggage carousels, walking onto the final dead carousel to retrieve baggage, it just had to be the last one.  This grey monster of a building, is extremely large and significantly under-populated. Maybe Frankfurt is anticipating a huge influx of trade in the future. So eventually passing through some automatic sliding doors to be greeted with the anticipated questions about not being able to find our way out of the grey steel maze?

 Why we didn't use the 'Skytrain'?

'What Skytrain?'